Family, Sex, And Relationships Related Poems
A. The Fun And Games At Diagnosis Stage Section
The Doctor -
Oct/30/08 We dread the period of dependence on family at the end of life.
Alzheimer's - Oct/30/08 The drive for community. Our duty of care for our workmates.
- Oct/30/08 The termination of relationships at death.
The Apostle - Oct/30/08 God frees us to live with others undefended.
Headlights - Nov/3/08 The doe's new fawns - moving them to safer place in springtime.
- Nov/12/08 Family portrait done in high-key lighting.
NCI Chat - Nov/18/08 Love is spread on a geometric growth curve.
The Time For Every Purpose Under Heaven - Nov/24/08 We all test each other to see of we are in it for us or them, and therefore the nature of tough love.
Pay-Up Time - Dec.01/08 Direct, clear, and honest communication is not always possible outside a professional setting.
The End of
the System-Mistress - Dec.02/08 Institutional systems viewed as a bossy
mistress in the marriage, and an imperfect one at that - dismissed at retirement.
Because It's Time - Dec.03/08 The dominant culture tries to ensure and preserve racial/cultural purity but can't.
Tina - Dec.06/08 The
influence of women on our early lives. Abortion and respect of life. Inconvenient
births and the coming euthanasia.
The Encourager - Dec/09/08 Family members each have different gifts and roles to play in life.
- Dec/11/08 Is love made or innate? Will time allow for balancing out of
things in marriage? Laughter gives distance to protect a broken heart. Relationships
deteriorate like ice in spring which gives way under pressure.
Future Present - Dec/11/08Families are brought closer at camp - through emergencies lived in the present.
Morning Prayer - Dec/11/08 Home is a winsome image for us here and hereafter.
- Dec/19/08 The levels of emotional investment we choose parallels the
settings or levels for different sound tracks on a sound editing board.
Dare I To Hope
- Dec/20/08 Women and their healing/life-giving powers are ancient.
Dreams - Dec/22/08 The role of dreams in life together. One partner dies first the other is left - like twins at birth.
Time - Dec/23/08 The social need to soften our messages and some cultural
ways of doing so.
Community - Dec/24/08 Resolving the ethnic ties which bind us to our kin for good and ill.
Christmas 1946 - Dec/25/08 The impact of our early months of life before and after birth.
His Fleet -
Dec/28/08 There are wide differences in personality in all relationships
owing to nature and nurture.
Remains? - Dec/29/08 It's weird to watch family behavior in relation
to residual goods at the end of life.
The "ology" of "Med'sun" - Dec/31/08 Systemic/institutional sin can wreck relationships in lots of ways. "Exit, voice and loyalty" in family arrangements.
Our Day - Jan/07/09 We
are graced in wait times. Commitment and preparations for it are time consuming,then
there is a point of no return.
The Competitor - Jan/07/09 It's ok to put down roots in life and relationships.
Costa Rica - Jan/07/09 The creative tension between home and away in life and relationships.
The Swordsman - Jan/07/09 Training for chivalry today.
B. A Shift In Locus Of Control Section
"A Bullet Dodged" - Jan/11/09 Family lifestyle choices have health related consequences.
"Journey's End" - Jan/11/09 Diverging and rejoining or our pathways are like a freeway. Family and friends are affected by our personal crises and are often hit harder but are often helpless to affect the outcome.
"The Survivor" - Jan/11-12/09 Life's power dynamics and lust for control creep into our relationships too.
"Communion" - Jan/11/09 Resumption of prior rifts after return to health. God's promises free us to be at one.
"Quality" - Jan/12/09 We are somewhat different in ourselves as compared with when in relation to our spouse.
"Barack Obama" - Jan/21/09 In some ways, culture trumps race.
"Mixing Drinks" - Jan/22/09 Reference to teen rebellion phase of life.
"Getting Through Christmas" - Jan/22-23/09 Reference to need for daily deliverance from temptation.
"Faith" - Jan/23/09 Our kids and those of the next generation get to decide the fate of their elders.
"Derby Fanfare" -
Jan/23/09 Reference to our "choice" of family and genes. Reference to husband-wife
Of My Soul" - Jan/23/09 Reference to our conscious and sub-conscious minds
and our semi-blindness to our (sexual) drives.
Chapel" - Jan/23/09 Reference to the breakup of extended families.
Generation" - Jan/25/09 Reference to same and cross generational impact of
parents on kids, and similar dynamics by outsiders as well.
"C.V" - Jan/25/09 Reference to issue of "would you still be interested in your calling if no wife or kids were involved?"
"Joyful, Joyful..." - Jan/26/09 Reference to family life built in part on relational activities.
Jan/27/09 Reference to affect-stripping and playing it safe in the social
inter-actions of the dominant society.
"I sCream For What?" - Jan/28/09 Reference to species-wide relationships between all human beings.
"The Tapestry" - Jan/29/09 Reference to future life interactive with wife.
"The Cobra And The Mongoose" - Jan/29/09 Reference to the need for inter-dependant life together.
"Imperfection" - Jan/31/09 Reference to the blessing of sheltered observation at the first of life at mother's breast and the lack of such a blessing in "new birth" of second chance situations.
Feb/4/09 "God, sex and a job" three teenage concerns - TCK's need to get
culturally aligned with their home culture for these three aspects of life
to feed rather than drain them in adult life.
Feb/6/09 Reference to Jungian Archetypal themes spanning multi generations
(with sexual resonances).
Third Culture Kid) - Feb/7/09 The lure of apostolic journeys which conflict with a person's family and child-rearing responsibilities.
"Over The Wall" - Feb/11/09 Reference to the need for inter-dependant living for continued health.
C. A Shift In Locus Of Operation Section
"Frost On The
Pain" - Feb/22/09 Reference to relationships torn by socio-economic class
"Recovering Awe" - Feb/22/09 Reference to a mother's nursing a baby. Reference to intergenerational shape of awe in our eyes as we walk together.
"Mana" - Feb/24/09 Potent words within a relationship are costly but precious.
"Call To Commitment" - Feb/27/09 An earlier vision shared with father. One possible last venture with wife.
"The Gift" - Mar/06/09 Lessons learned in extended family of use later in life.
"The Living And The Dead" - Mar/12/09 New life flows from the roots to the branches not vice versa.
"Lonesome Valley" - Mar/15/09 A father-son reflection.
"Vacated Space" - Mar/17/09 Brother to brother lessons learned.
Mar/19-21/09 Reference to teen playing adult role in play. Evolution's test
of life after mating - the social component.
"Crossing Cultural Lines (And Third Culture Kids)" - Mar/22-23/09 Sex and Third Culture Kids - and the new world.
"To Mentor" - Mar/28/09 Growing up in an extended family gives one models for meeting later challenges (and doing similar actions).
"Now" - Apr/02/09 We
seed our lives in part into a humanity of which we are not part, as we in turn
drew ours from it.
"Genetic Train" - Apr/06/09 Historic birth, survival, and procreation are a major feature of all who live now with an indirect obligation to live fully.
"Forthright Authenticity" - Apr/07/09 A reflection on the nature-nurture source of personality traits.
"Income vs. Outgo" - Apr/09/09 Reference to male versus female locus of life.
(Start Of Costa Rica Trip) " - Apr/13/09 A father's comment on his son'
s shift to adulthood through trials.
of Things Hoped For " - Apr/15/09 A reflection on marriage encounter weekend
with wife and current purpose of married life including financial component.
"This Day " - Apr/15/09 Reflection on life in parent and kid's life.
"Panama " -
Apr/15/09 A man pushes from birth to abandonment to family life under adverse
In Our Paths " - Apr/16/09 Social solutions for problems of social causes
- a mom being one of both.
"Systemic Sin " - Apr/17/09 Institutional sin destroys people's lives and community.
To Love " - Apr/18/09 Reference to rejected love in families and community
and the need to unblock plugged pipes so love can flow through them.
On Life " (End of the Costa Rica Trip)- Apr/19/09 Reference to mediated
and internet based interactions and community.
In Perfection " - Apr/20/09 Balance in life is in the community not the
individual with interdependent parts like a human body. Social inter-dependence
of our global community.
"Life-Giving Memory" - Apr/22/09 The felt-support of local community - being remembered by one whose memory is going.
D. Re-integration Of Photography Into Life – In Relation
To Cancer Section :
"The Tumblin' Roamin' catholic " - Apr/24/09-AM Anxiety at the first of Art Therapy to be open to troublous material as it arises.
Of Friendship " - Apr/24/09-AM Anxiety of social settings with new people
and names - Start of Art Therapy small group.
"Rip Van Winkle " -
Apr/24/09-AM Anxiety re: outer obsolescence in new group having been away
(at start of Art Therapy group).
"The Week In Between " - Apr/24/09-PM Saw the"package" of feelings, breaking through the weak link of a cancer cell.
"That Pesky End Of Time " - Apr/25/09 Reference to the face of out personal stress package that gives us ongoing fear of the end of what's valuable to us.
"Second Chance " - Apr/30/09 Reference to the issue of "if no wife and kids are you still interested in your calling?" and how I am thus far blessed by both.
In Our Shoe " - Apr/31/09 Reference to inner struggles and how they get
annoying and draining.
"The Picture Lived " - May/02/09 Children's culture can differ from the parents' culture. What diverts our attention from what is significant, is the personal issue for each of us, so look at it.
"A Watercolor " - May/03/09 Life and wisdom emerges after marriage breakdown and troubles.
"Psalm 22's Love Passed Along " - May/03/09 God's providence from birth through infancy to mature life of troubles through others and now through us.
"Four Steps Behind " - May/05/09 Reference to short and tall couple out walking.
"First Anniversary Of Diagnosis" - May/08/09 After third art therapy class - reference to the initial interaction with symbolic links to early sexualization in life which generated stress in me.
"My Mistake Last Week" - May/09/09 Reference (on day 2 after paint-blot) to mental links of traumatic attack by homosexual community against self when perceived to be anti-gay and the unjust treatment at their hands.
Afraid" - May/10/09 Day three after art therapy class event - I go public
about the injustice done to me and my outlook on it - which, suppressed till
now, I figure broke out here in cancer.
"The Picture" -
May/10/09 Reference to the picture I covered up with paint and the fact
that it had not been missed by a person in the group who caught the anger
and violence expressed.
"Perspective" - May/10/09 Reference to the anger tripped in me by the art therapy incident.
out" - May/11/09 Reference to an abuse of my web site being used as an
outlet for my poems which threatened to shut it down at a critical time.
In Green Pastures - Expressions In Clay" - May/16/09 Reference to the off-ramp
offered by my fear and the abuse of my web site to sidestep dealing with (and
pushing through to) release from search for inner links between my stress-package
and photography blockage (at half-time through art therapy) and the decision
to press on regardless.
"Managing Losses" -
May/17/09 Reference to the quip "men get more successful when they realize
there is more to life than sex."
"Inside-Outside" - May/20/09 Reference to need of supportive community.
"The Presence" -
May/20/09 Reference to the interacting and maturing presence of a stranger
in the life on another person known to both us.
"This Wrinkled Clay" - May/23/09 Reference to wrinkles wrought by interplay of spirit and man in specific life-issues.
The Moon, And The Stars" (A Costa Rican Expression) " - May/25/09 Reference
to funding of this caper by my wife.
At 60 " - May/26/09 Men like to display their testosterone-laden prowess
- as teens with cars and as doctors with chemicals and tools (or equivalent).
E. The Start of Stu-Art Output Section :
"Communion " -
May/26/09Reference to the blessing many of us have found from the Jewish
learning brought to us through the work of Jesus - salt light and leaven to our
various sub-standard aspects of life as we move through its ages and stages.
"Four Things We Need - 2 - Forgiveness" - May/26/09Reference to the resolution of "hits" we take and give in the various aspect of our lives.
Things We Need - 3 - Deliverance From Temptation" - May/26/09 Reference to
allurement of the second-best in life, and to some of its dynamics.
We Need - 4 - Deliverance From Evil " - May/26/09 Reference to the prevalence
of evil in life and how we can do about it to rein it in.
Death" - May/27/09 Dying to the ways of the world, being buried symbolically
in Baptism, and rising to a new life of availability to Christ as his living
body frees fashion a new life.
"Tempo In The
Town" - May/28/09 Different tempos between individuals and groups interferes
with or harmonizes relationships and often needs addressing.
"Second Careers" - May/28/09 Reference to growth and departure of children.
"Acceptance" - May/28/09 Reference to running away from ourselves as we press forward to break our bonds. Reference to my "love language" - 'resourced inclusion' - and our efforts to find a substitute for missing love and acceptance.
"On Keeping On Keeping On" - May/30/09 Reference to possible sale of home as life situation changes.
"Victory Lap" -
May/30/09 Reference to the attack on me and my defiant victory lap in face
" 'How Then
Will Jesus Get Down?' " - May/31/09 Reference to the religious aspect of
child rearing. Reference to inviting children out of pain and into the mystery
of relationship. A mother 's prayer answered.
Your Spirit" - May/31/09 Reminiscent of my own place of spiritual encounter
which indeed did speak to my personal life.
"Third Layer" -
May/31/09 A further inter-twined aspect of my trauma package surfaces and
is seen for what it was and is - and is likewise defused.
"Blessing From Pain" - June/2/09 Good things are often left behind and after troubled times in our lives.
"The Painter" -
June/5/09 Reference to the need for caution when speaking when an area of
social discourse is turbulent - and the role of artistic expression during
"John" - June/5/09 Reference
to an earlier dealing with a brother in a close family situation and a dream
which refreshed his memory to us, surfaced by connected trauma states which brings
relief for us.
"The Choice" - June/6/09 Reference to renewed life in family- the liberating effect of trauma resolved.
"Who Is This Man?" - June/7/09Reference to the positive effects of passers by to the richness of our family and relationships.
Gone" - June/7/09 Reference to the clean-up of our pasts like the farmer
cleaning grain seed for his new planting, and how seeds are carried by the whirl
and swirl of life itself.
False Promise" - June/7/09 Reference to a mother losing custody of her kids.
"The Antidote" - June/13/09The micro-macro economic mess in family life on our planet - and an aspect of its resolution.
" 'I Don't Need You...' " - June/13/09 Space relations in family life and their possible positive effects.
"The '-Ology' Of Cash " - June/13/09 Funding the poor - spoof.
"Things " - June/14,16/09 Reference to men's vs. women's power.
Picture Window " - June/18/09 The theme of Sex and its connection to photography
and cancer explored as the puzzle resolves and photography re-enters my life-stream
Use " - June/19/09 Reflection on the Cost of this last round (of Cancer)
and the use of money in my life, with reference to my role in life from here
in light of the recent findings. The role of the homosexual community in
my seeing part of the problem is delineated.
"Redemption " -
June/23/09 The Spirit's presence in our lives as a living force has a maturing
influence in our lives freeing us to move forward unimpeded by whatever has gone
before, transforming past into wisdom for the future living of life..
F. Concluding Poem of Volume I
" 'The Play's
The Thing' " - June/25/09 A mini-play set on a children's cancer ward, and kids growing up into responsibility. In giving of ourselves we come to be, seen particularly
in the face of our own death. Reference to strong support from wife and kids.
From Conclusion Section (# 172-209):
" 2-4-6-8 " - July/4/09 Reflection on the clash between Scottish and Cree outlooks on life in regards to proactive striving, and its effects on relationships.
" The Quarterback " - July/10/09Inspiration gained by another person facing MS to move on in life, reference also to family life.
" 'The Triumph Of Hope Over Reality' " - July/12/09Reflectin on an incident when reading the story of the death of John the Baptist in church. A powerful instance of intergenerational influence.
" Resonances " - July/15/09Reflection on Metis Poet Gregory Scofield's Poetic readings. Reference to how Metis People can speak into the lives of both Dominant and First Nations groups even though those two groups might feel mutual animosity and therefore cannot hear directly from each other. Reference to felt impetus to press on with publication of my own work.
Week Now Since His Quiet Laugh " - July/17/09 Visit to referring doctor.
Need to keep stress down in relation to recurrence of cancer, especially in group relationships.
You Had Fifty Days To Live " - July/17/09 Using the image of counting the
50 days an "Omar" (bushel) of barley grew from Passover to Pentecost, the
question is raised as to what one could grow in one's life in such a period
if that was all that remained of life, and reflection on using that period as a structural period for units of time within a year. Reference to rebuilding family life.
Choice " - July/19/09 Use of media in creating healthy communities in which
to grow, and the power of choice of response which cannot be removed from us.
Reference t breaking of relationships in such activity.
" The Snap Of Others' Work " - July/22/09 Dropping stress by stopping inappropriate involvement in other people's lives.
Eyes " - July/24/09 Honesty whether in facing death or living relationships
in community is refreshing and health giving.
" The Runner " - July/24/09 Reference to the encouraging effects of a support group in recovery from cancer.
Serve" - July/24/09 The powerful effects of (often unseen) people who help
in recovery of health by linking people together for mutual support.
"Pandemic Of Silence" - July/26/09 Dream of pandemic with handful of survivors raises questions of forming new future life for humanity, within which are implications for our smaller scale life after cancer. Reference to child rearing and social relations and the quality of "seed people" who might survive to start life over.
In Economics" - July/26/09 Prayer for those engaged in the economic system
, especially our children, who often live beyond our day to day presence in the
"Isaiah's Band" - July/26/09 The clash of cultures within a Canadian church, destroying relationships.
"Making Peace" - July/26/09 A visit to the peace gardens with its new addition of the material from ground zero of World Trade center attack. The clash of cultures, the inter-gift/culture allergy, and the way peace is
made and maintained. Reference to family relationships in the process of peace making.
Grace" - July/26/09 A couple crosses cultures to build orphanages in Kenya
as an expression of their faith in light of the pandemic of AIDS there.
July/31/09 The assistance gained in sorting out vocation from avocation in
making community contributions (in this case a cross-cultural missions effort)
within which one has no or little say, but works under another's direction. Reference
to the shift from routine life-responsibilities in all-absorbing outside tasks.
"TGIS (Thank God It's Sunday)" - August/2/09 Shifts in the type of work bring exhaustion, especially out of one's strength areas, for which a day off each week is welcome relief, giving time for relationship building with family and God.
Years" - August/2/09 A look back and forwards at the time of the fortieth
anniversary of our engagement.
New Bridge" - August/2/09 A reflection on the third anniversary of the
insight into my "Third Culture Kid" experience, and the cross-cultural / bridging
role in community relationships that is emerging for myself out of that reality, at the time when Brandon
itself is getting a new road bridge.
Love Again" - August/2/09 A reflection on the welcome restoration of stressed
relationships after both sickness and extended period of stress in relationships
like marriage which seems to involve periods of both "better and worse" for
many of us.
"Without Constraint" - August/3/09 Reflection on the shortage of time for art for working people in relation to the shortage of time caused by Cancer. Reference to the life choices which emerge when cancer repriorizes life after recovery; the body of Christ and unity of mankind to the Universe as being part of it...it's voice; artist in relation to the body of humanity as their voice and God's to them - a bridge.
"First Job" - August/4/09 Reflection back to my first job and two sermons encouraging me to move forward despite the past. Reference to good wholesome family and community life.
" A Creenglish Look At Kenya" -
August/8/09 Reflection on Kenya's orphan problem and the social side of
medicine writ large.
"A Change In Style" - August/6-9/09 Reflections on the source of income in relation to types of ministry. Reference to family relationships and working relationships.
"What Is This Child's Name?" - August/10/09 Reflection on the death of one of the orphans in the project I was assisting. Reference to the role of names in identifying specific children in our sphere of life.
Hope In Small Packages - August/11/09 Reflection on budgeting of limited money,time and energy within a larger skewed economic context, and the source of hope for small players within such a reality, and a reference to restored relationships within this reality.
Two Languages Of Love - August/11/09 Reflection on whose love language gets used...that of the giver or the receiver.
‘Map’ - The Code For ‘Books’ - August/13/09 Reflection on the meaning of "books" to me (its 'code'). Reference to family life in vocational choices.
Workman - August/14/09 A reflection on the code for tools work and call
as viewed cross culturally. Reference to tools in childhood in relation to
family members and society later in life.
August/14/09 A poetic reflection on the approaching third anniversary of
realization I am a TCK, with implications for my writing. Reference to an artist's
interaction with self, the people around him/her and his/her audience.
"The Deep Longing Of My Soul" - August/15/09 A poem reflecting on initial priorities - the First Nations Learning style project emerges, including clean-up of domestic backlog.
The Rear-View Mirror" - August/15/09 Reflection on inter-dependant gifts
and the power of an earlier project in getting people on with their lives.
"Our Goodbyes" - August/16/09 Reflection on losses due to the breakups of friends. Not all losses are medical, but often take place amidst our own medical journey of loss - life goes on.
- Letting Go" - August/16/09 Habdalah is the (family) ceremony ending the day of
rest each week, and the start of a new week for Jews. A reflection on the ending
of holidays and fresh start to a new work year.
"The Butterfly" - August/18/09 The concluding poem of this set of poems. Reflection on the transformation I have felt in myself through this journey compared to the actual experience of death and resurrection, both spiritual and physical. Thanks extended to those who walked this journey with me and the possibility expressed that someday the favor might be returned.