A Change In Style

I came outside and saw her car, all shiny white with chrome
And got into my rattletrap and headed off for home.
She’s asked about my fee for work, I waved it off again;
I wonder what is going on – a sucker I for pain?

I think it’s somehow all tied up with ministry’s ‘estate’
And doing work the funded way and thus I hesitate
To take in funds for what should be just as it was for me –
I somehow think this money thing’s encumbered as can be.

I can’t get in, I can’t get out, I’m stuck at center’s top;
It’s not that things must go from here, it’s more some things must stop.
Permission’s all tied up with cash in this society
But outside group’s permission there is none that’s just for me.

Ah! That’s the thing – I’ve shifted now from work that’s done alone
And yet I work away myself in office here at home.
I can’t get in, I can’t get out, Immobilized I am,
The need goes on unmet by me, ‘O-WA-TAN-ASS-I AM’.

How to break out of this fair trap is what I cannot see
The business model’s not the one that sits and looks at me.
I hate the mooching life for Christ’s sake done by those in Thee,
I long for funded work within the Church as it should be.

But, “No”, I hear you say, “My Son, that life is not to be,
But rather, life’s for you among the ones to be set free.
What others do who follow you is what we’ll set in place
Before that comes we have some work to do in different place.

“We have to lay the groundwork for those workers by and by
Who will not know the sweat and toil expended without sigh.
It was a chance I took with you this way to set you free
But we will get there by and by, if you’ll wait patiently.

“It all will work out, I’ve a plan, don’t sweat it out each day
I’m waiting on some other folks who mission costs will pay.
So get about your task and let it work out as it should
There’s plenty there for you to do “if woodchuck could chuck wood”.

I hear, O Lord, “That’s right, don’t charge for what’s been freely given,
For free it is, so pass it on, and get them up to heaven.
I’ve got a plan that frees you up to work without constraint
So just stay tuned, I’ll clue you in, for stingy one I ain’t”.

OK, O Lord, I’ll persevere and press on to the mark
And thrash around just as before, a candle in the dark.
Whoever else might see the light of your indwelling life
I’ve not a clue – from those around, like family, friends and wife.

This week that lies ahead for me of cleaning up my life
Is overdue – for I have been preoccupied with strife.
So digging out from under all this stuff will be worthwhile,
Then maybe I can go from here with unencumbered style.