The Deep Longing Of My Soul

The deep longing of my soul
What’s required for it to go?
Beat this thing round the block
Just sits there – it doesn’t talk.

Lord, I’ve looked it up and down
Still it lingers – hanging ’round,
“Hopeless” it appears to me
Though I press on hopefully.

I can’t see it, blind I am
To what’s obvious at hand;
Open up my eyes to see
Through this cloud that circles me.

Is it something I have done?
Some wrong road impulsive run?
Too much time spend just with me?
Disengaged, O Lord, from Thee?

Why am I stuck on this shore
When I know there should be more?
Simple things just shut me down
Doing nothing, sitting ’round.

Longing for some company
In this culture just of me.
Then I think – “Cross-culture, Stu
Is the ministry I ask of you.

“You asked me for three years time
To get used to words of mine
So I gave them – don’t complain
If you’re blocked reflecting them”.

OK so, where to now, Lord?
What’s your indicating word?
Last time I was slow to jump,
Time before I took a thump.

Cleaning up’s depressing me
Going somewhere sets me free –
Free to choose amongst what’s here
Help it is when way’s made clear.

God, I hate this thrashing ’round
Options plenty, road not found.
Outside body-life, that’s me
It’s resolve – that puzzles me.

What’s the piece I’m missing now
Need to get from here somehow
“Focus on first ‘Omar’, Stu
More than that’s too much to chew –

“Half-way through this Omar now
Right on track what’s done somehow,
Just fulfill what we set out
Hunker down and do not pout.

OK, Lord, I can do that
Like with shovel in the back
“Can you stick the shovel in?
Yes? Then do so, now, begin.

“When you’ve done that, do again
Walk your way right out of pain.
Life works when you forward go
More than whether fast of slow.

“Finish things up, close each case,
You the future can embrace,
Slump there is – third quarter time
Push on through old friend of mine.

“There’ll be more of company
Round the corner, wait and see
They’ll be round as you go forth
Some come even from the north.

“It’s not whether they’ll be nice
From this land of snow and ice
It’s more what I think of thee
And the tasks assigned by me.

“Chuckle on and have some fun
Let it go, to future run,
It’s been rough, that I’ll agree
But I got you through, you’ll see”.