I’m on the inside looking out
Of culture which I’m all about
The only one that blesses me –
From outside bonds I’m walking free.
I’m no more free within my group
Than any person with a troop
Of fellow culture-ites who walk
Their walk of life, with life of talk.
Come August I’ll be only three
Years of this culture (consciously),
So best I should not beat up self –
Put immaturity on the shelf.
A culture’s supposed to speed things up
But lack of others makes things rough
A lonesomeness drives crazy me
I crave a good community.
Each culture has its faults and strengths
Which balance over life – at length
We come to work its faults around
And only walk where it is sound.
But what of strengths, what’s there for me
This mix of Englishman and Cree?
Of what can I be justly proud
To live each day and speak out loud?
Is fact of TCK enough
To justify this journey rough?
By far, too big, is my extent?
When focus should be my intent.
Perhaps what should be looked at first –
Home-culture’s goods for which I thirst;
If it’s a fact, to some degree,
That other people copy me.
But where to start? What blessings are
Residing here within my heart
Which bless, bave blessed, my life along
That now could issue forth in song?
Instead of looking longingly
Across the fence to culture green
What sanctuary is for me?
What basis for community?
I long to move out from this place
And leave behind their sham disgrace
To start anew my life again
Soak up some sun instead of rain.
I wonder just how many folks
Crave life that’s free from heavy yokes;
Inside unable to be blessed
Forever shut outside the rest.