“Reticence”

I feel this strange reluctance now to read
In Scripture’s pages for my daily feed;
Like somehow it will overwhelming be,
And in its lines far more – as Spirit leads –

Than I could ever cope with – like a flood,
Tsunami-style – or avalanche of mud –
Nahani Gorge, like in those cancer-days
When banged around by medics’ tiresome ways.

But this is different – more like in a sea
That’s wondrous – too marvelous for me;
Awash – so great in volume and in scope,
I’ll never capture what those authors wrote.

For greater than resources I have got
(Compassion-person assets – not a lot),
I’ve no equipment – can’t contain the flood
Of resource – soil that’s good – productive mud.

I’d be so overwhelmed I could not cope –
For bad effects I once had antidote,
But that’s for life of coping in this world,
And Kingdom-layer’s up above the swirl –

It doesn’t work now – “Stu, stand up and walk
On Kingdom-layer, no longer are you blocked,
So get up on your feet, and seize the day –
Good news for flood of negative – but hey –

I had not seen what goodness can effect
Once up on Kingdom-layer – did not expect
To have to cope with strong emotion’s blast,
Like farmer with no bins – huge crop at last.

Too much can be a problem like the sea,
For oceans with a cup enriches me;
Now, drinking from a fire hose, ’neath some falls –
It could destroy me, killed by good and all –

The blessings of God’s greatness – makes me scared;
Reverse of looking down – how ill-prepared
I was to see my time-line on the floor –
God’s point of view – no giant anymore.

But looking up and ’round is likewise, weird –
Too much emotion – that I’ve always feared;
Like Elder in my church whose frequent tears
Became a pain to him – that’s what now nears.

Lord, help me find a way to deal with this –
It’s been a painful life, so little bliss;
I fear I’ll never cope with all that joy,
Help me to know what tools I should employ.

“Stu, it’s okay, you only need a bit;
You’re finding out what others know of it –
As boater up on top of surface lives,
And scuba-diver ’neath the surface gives –

“A due respect to power of the sea,
Participates, learns rules which set him free;
So too in all of life, this heavy air
Takes time to find a way of living there.”

Thanks, Lord, I’m overwhelmed – like software new –
So many things with pix and print to do;
Beyond few tools we had in darkroom days –
Once learned, life was enhanced in many ways.

So too with this – Adobe’s like the sea –
Such tools in all three disciplines – to me
It’s greater than an orchestra of notes –
How can conductor with that flood-tide cope?

If I were just to play a piccolo,
A triangle, or snare drum come to know,
I wonder if it still would overwhelm?
Forget my being person at the helm!

I wonder if this is a part of Jacques –
Or if it’s Kingdom-layer – “Just relax –
Get used to new perspective high above
With detail sizes larger now in love –

“While number of those pieces stays the same;
Adjustment-time is more like joyful game –
Relax; kick back; for you will joyful be
Once new becomes familiar – like the sea.

Thanks Lord for this.

navigation