The Quest-ion

The question was not mine, but theirs
Not UCC's (though they were heirs),
But Presby’s, Methodists and such
Who'd thought about it very much.

I guess I just accepted it –
Saw context as a not-bad fit
And moved along with life as such
And did not ponder very much.

So here I am at forty years
This May – a trial of joy and tears;
If I had stayed there whacking head
Against that wall – most likely dead.

But if I'd ‘lived’ – retired this year,
I'd faced that question as with here,
“So where to now – for I'm still young –
Do work some more, or have some fun?”

There's lots of stuff I'd still not know;
And other things I'd have to show
For all those years against that wall,
Forever stopped – forever stalled.

But I'm not there – I lived my life
Amidst a whirlwind of strife;
I sought out answers in my quest,
And got them – more despite my best.

So, where to now? hang till the end,
And then my pathway shift, amend?
Or carry on as was my plan –
‘Do three years more in UC land’?

Strange how that drive to push on through,
Abides in me re: what to do;
Desires of my heart indeed,
To quest, then plug it in to need.

My grandma said, ’bout clergy task:
“If not for you, you'll never last,
But if for you, you can't stay out,
I've seen it lots – to me, no doubt”

That's me, locked on like furrow ploughed,
Straight as an arrow there somehow;
A settledness set in that day
As I said, ‘yes’, and entered fray.

Great years those were – Excalibur
Pulled from the stone; my steed I spurred;
At windmills tilting; all the while
With weary satisfaction’s smile.

But that came to a halt one day
When there no longer was a way
To help them through that boggy patch –
In that I finally met my match.

So that is where the dream came in,
“I want results, not sheepish grin”,
He'd said, and I returned to world
And entered quest amidst the whirl.

I found my answers too, I'd say,
Though lumpy-bumpy, was my way;
By then all bridges had been burned,
And input from my learnings spurred.

“Ahem – another problem, see?”
A start once more, not end for me –
What do I do with answers found?
“Why, plug them in to coming round”.

Hmmm – guess You're right, I'd not seen that,
I am like satisfaction's cat,
Come back once more as from the dead,
To write a book which can be read.

But even more, plug in these thoughts
In what I do – act as I ought,
Addressing problem raised that day
Back in Keewatin's stone-walled way.

“Stu, now you see the part you missed –
Third Culture Kid, by fortune kissed –
You found it first within your life
Then saw its impact on your wife.

“So now you see a Apostle's task
As answer to your question asked;
You're way ahead – long-work indeed;
Now polished up, you're goodly seed.

“So get down off your high-horse, son,
And celebrate the victory won;
You're on the hill, with flag in hand,
Not facing up to Promised Land.

“So there you are – now get to work;
Don't stand around like useless jerk;
There's lots to do, just plug it in,
And watch my antidote to sin.

“For all the rest you knew before,
Except that piece you now adore
About the TCK's spun out
When hosting-culture's round about.

“So help those folks to turn around
Their RTM's, so lights turn on,
And power surges through their lines,
So life can work for them just fine.

“Not everywhere on earth, of course,
Just in that patch of high resource
Called “Giver-land” by you these days;
Just plug it in, you'll see it pays.”

Lord, that's amazing, that's my view
I had not clearly seen in You;
It's integrated at the end
As now I see your great amen!

Thanks.

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