Whence Joy?

“They got my joy – or was it sickness’ work
Which brought me down – no longer I assert
The flow of life, its bounty and it's bane
 Just dreary life, each day holds more the same.

“I long for life, hope, joy, and peace in me –
The love of others deep as yonder sea;
Cold to the touch each person seems to be –
My love's shut down, an illness casualty.

“I see your joy – for you the treatment worked,
Though through the years conditions may revert.
Does joy just come when lighter is our load –
Or is it ours while tougher row we hoe?”

 I was like you this time a year ago,
When things looked bad, though doctors thought not so;
And then reprieve, some back-and-forthly jolts,
Till free at last from cancer’s locking bolts.

But joy came first – while troubles still were there –
She told me straight – “Kick back, let down your hair;
One life we've got – don't waste your precious time;
Each day I live and love this family mine”.

I heard her words, long journey did I start
And when reversals knocked again at heart
I said, “No way – I'll not go back again
What e'er transpire of problem or of pain”.

Things better are – but not without a cost –
My dad, of this, his life to cancer lost;
Because he died, stage four beyond help then,
I went to see if cancer was within.

It was – but early it was found;
And rough my trip, to error’s misstep bound,
But then I read, ‘Squeeze more from trauma’s scourge
Than it from you – lest life become a dirge’.

So, shift I made, proactive I became
To wrest from this more life, not just the same;
I'd pressed on through, like judo's countering flip,
And turned this journey to life's opening trip .

I'm lighter now, not just from my reprieve
But from results of daring to believe
More life was mine, what e'er the outcome be –
But only mine if I pressed on seize.

Tough road that was, it frightened me deep down,
To face the traumas from my life now found
To be wired in to cancers deadly pack
Of high explosive wired now to my back.

But I pushed through – I had to, thankfully –
For colon cancer springs up new, you see;
So clean my house was order of the day,
To give no chance, lest it come back to play.

So that I've done – not perfectly, or all,
But bit by bit I press to rid it all
From dragging me back through that course again;
Or something worse, of treatment’s healthful pain.

It may not work, strange sickness this indeed;
But joy's returned, and light my life has been.
I did not choose it, or on others wish;
But more I took than served up in my dish.

Now I press on, ‘days fifty blocks of time’:
Ask what next steps or tasks this block are mine,
Then live them out, be good to self, and care
For those around, who share my daily air.

I wish you well – much more than that is yours –
I hope you join us in this lifely course;
To live again, whatever be the route –
Hope, laughter, joy, love supersede all doubt.

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